Eureka Seven Ao vs Logic: A Most Splendid Battle

Hello, everyone.

I originally wanted to throw “battle of the century” into the title, but I decided against it as there really is no guarantee that this battle would not be outdone in the coming weeks. Who knows, maybe E7 Ao will fight against PHYSICS, or perhaps even PSYCHOLOGY. So, in order to avoid confusion, I have purposely omitted any reference to “best battle”, but just know that this was a great battle and it shall be remembered for at least a week until the next episode airs.

Historians debate the length of the battle, most agree that it lasted at least 20 minutes, while others speculate that it might have started as early as the first episode! Unfortunately, most of our  current salvaged records do not show significant proof of the battle happening in the first episode, so, for the sake of truthful and accurate discussion, we shall stick to the second episode.

What’s that? You are curious about the result, but are worried that because you don’t have a post-doctorate in Historical, Logical Analysis of Logical Warfare in Japanese Mecha Animation produced by Bones Studio from the University of Muffineopolos like myself, you won’t understand anything? Have no fear, my friends! Here at TM Incorporated, we like to make our posts as easily accessible as possible. So, each milestone of the battle will be accompanied by a handy dandy SUPER SCORE KEEPER!

Now, observe as we explore this epic battle and chronicle Eureka 7’s triumph over logic.

Event 1

What do you do when you are faced with a bratty brat like above who refuses to listen to what you say?

quite the conundrum!

Logic would dictate that you either reprimand the child for being a spoilt brat, knock him out and take what you want or leave him alone and run far away. How does Eureka 7 face this event?

It didn't take E7 Ao long to strike a harsh blow against logic.

10 points for Eureka 7 Ao!

SUPER SCORE TABLE™
Party Score
Eureka Seven Ao  10
Logic  0

What an incredible attack! E7 Ao didn’t even get Logic a warning! Given the pre-emptive strike, it would only be logical to assume that logic would begin counter measures, but unfortunately, logic wasn’t feeling very logical that day and chose to eat a burrito instead.

Event 2

Oh dear! Another viscous attack at logic by E7 Ao. Ao gets sent flying out of the flying box vehicle, and just so happens to fly straight towards a magic mecha waiting for him!

Clearly, this is a win for E7, 10 more points for E7 Ao!

Lord Reiseng wrote something that did not agree with our viewpoint. As such, he has been reprimanded for misrepresenting the truth.
–Signed:The Non-Orthodox Otaku Society for Logical Reform

Ok, ok, fine! We will consider that one a COINCIDENCE. No change to the score.

Event 3

I am a fire my beam~

Hide your kids, hide your wife, cause my beam be rapin erbody out there...

No one be hiding, no one be running...no one be logical

 

Bam! That was another brutal attack against logic. The local residents did not immediately fleet the scene as would be logical given the natural human desire to survive. They simply watched as their homes burnt up.

Another 10 points to Eureka 7 Ao!

SUPER SCORE TABLE™
Party Score
Eureka Seven Ao  20
Logic  0

Event 3

All modern mechas generally have some kind of projectile firing weapon and if they don’t, they have an equivalent laser weapon of some sort. The gun (laser or otherwise) is a staple of modern anime, and it is a staple that often gets taken for granted. In the olden days of mecha, mecha warfare would be carried out using rocks made out of Aluminum, sticks made out of brass and large bronze shields. Now, the Mark 1 clearly has guns.

and, clearly those guns are not weak.

They can blow up a navy ship! (A destroyer? Or some weird form of Aircraft Carrier??)

So, the Mark 1 had guns, and those guns were quite strong.

Now, even if those guns did not work

Modern day shields are made from a carbon fiber like substance.

It is only logical to assume the pilot would either attempt to use the guns again (when they aren’t being blocked), use a stronger weapon or as a last resort, resort to using powerful melee weapons like a chainsaw. How does E7 Ao handle this?

BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA MADE BY USING A LOST APPENDAGE!

What a devastating blow for logic! I suppose you are expecting me to award another 10 points to E7 Ao, and that would be the logical assumption given that you lack an education in the required field like me.

BUT OBSERVE:

Zoomed, but not enhanced (as that would not be logical).

The pixels clearly show that physical contact between the arm and the enemy was made. And since it is only logical that physical contact is required for something to blow up due to external influences, it can be said that logic actually put up a fight!

10 points to E7 Ao and 5 points to Logic!

SUPER SCORE TABLE™
Party Score
Eureka Seven Ao  30
Logic  5

Event 4

That’s great! Now you should sneak up behind him and perform a stealth attack! That is the logical thing to do! So, go ahead and do it!

Nope.

Sigh, logic just doesn’t get a break, does he? 5 points awarded to E7 Ao because maybe Ao was trying to lead the bad guy away from coral.

SUPER SCORE TABLE™
Party Score
Eureka Seven Ao  35
Logic  5

Event 5

Yup! He saved our lives. Logically speaking we should be clapping our hands for him!

....

 

E7 Ao only gets 2 points because racism is never logical.

SUPER SCORE TABLE™
Party Score
Eureka Seven Ao  37
Logic  5

Event 6

I had the mental fortitude and strength to hide my massive mecha in a large cave that I just happened to find.

And yet, I still end up almost drowning....

 

5 more points for E7 Ao.

SUPER SCORE TABLE™
Party Score
Eureka Seven Ao  42
Logic  5

Event 7

I have saved this strapping young lad.

After saving a fine turquoise haired youth, it is only logical to assume that one would inquire to the well being of the saved individual. Maybe, they would ask if they need to go to a doctor, or if all bodily functions are operating normally. What does E7 Ao think a rescuer should do after rescuing someone?

Why play with her golden hair of course.

5 points to E7 Ao, and 5 points to logic because cute girls should do cute things like play with their hair. What!? Attraction bias is totally logical!

SUPER SCORE TABLE™
Party Score
Eureka Seven Ao  47
Logic 10

Event 8

Yes, you should go! The "Japs" are likely looking for you and once the locals figure out that you were involved, they will be looking for you to. You should flee the island.

Nah, let's go sight seeing instead.

 

3 points awarded to E7 Ao, as it is not a total triumph over logic. It is possible that the cave serves as a good hiding place. And, note that it is only logical for one to assume aforementioned cave is the same as the one that Ao hid the Mark 1 in.

SUPER SCORE TABLE™
Party Score
Eureka Seven Ao  50
Logic 10

BONUS EVENT

Islands can't have children.

5 more points to Eureka 7 Ao.

And, with that, we are done! Here is the final score:

SUPER SCORE TABLE™
Party Score
Eureka Seven Ao  55
Logic 10

What an exciting battle this was! E7 Ao destroyed logic by 45 points! Clearly, logic has taken a great deal of damage. Is the damage fixable? Who knows?! Logic has been around for a while, but given the shit flung at it courtesy of anime, who knows how much longer it can stand!

Thanks for reading this EXCLUSIVE look at a historical event.

SUPER SCORE TABLE™ is a trademark of Toxic Muffin Inc. Fiery text in title image generated by Flaming Text. Aristotle image courtesy of Wikipedia (found in article on Logic).


p.s. I enjoyed episode 2 (not as much as ep.1 though), and I like certain ideas that E7 Ao is presenting, but at the same time, it feels like it’s trying too hard and it is not really succeeding. I think Joe (in his post on WRL) said it best when he said that it doesn’t really draw you into the story that well. We will see where this goes from here on.

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  1. #1 by ZabiLegacy on April 25, 2012 - 3:36 pm

    you just made my day >.<

    • #2 by Reiseng on April 25, 2012 - 5:59 pm

      Haha, I am glad I made your day. 😛

      • #3 by ZabiLegacy on April 26, 2012 - 11:38 am

        I too have an intense and often times even irrational hatred of this piece of crap pretending to be the sucesor to my favorite anime. Want to form asupervillain alliance? The skeptics?

    • #4 by Reiseng on April 26, 2012 - 1:38 pm

      Aww, it wasn’t thaaaat bad. And to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t the greatest of Eureka 7 fans. I liked the show, but not as much as everyone else seems to. 😛

      As for the super villain alliance, I am going to have to pass because I do not possess a super power, yet…. 😦

  2. #5 by John Sato on April 26, 2012 - 10:42 pm

    This reminds me of my HnA post, only shorter, cooler, and better (in short: Reisang: 10 | John Sato: 0) :). Well done, awesome post!

    • #6 by Reiseng on April 27, 2012 - 12:16 am

      HnA?! And, I doubt it is any better than your post since your posts are really good and stuff.

      But, thanks!

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